Offensively Neutral

I can admit that I am living in Crazy-town right now, in the penthouse of Female Insanity Towers, but truly, I think I got a seriously disrespectful email today. ANY email that comes three weeks later is probably not very cool, and when you add in inane bullshit about the weather, which is, seriously, just offensively f***ing neutral, that puts it over the edge. And you don't lie to a New Englander about Dunkin Donuts. You just don't. It's not cool. And you will get punched in the face, and then set on fire.

I am incandescent with rage right now. Like, wrath on a f***ing Homeric f***ing scale.

I think I might pass on the light fiction altogether tonight, and go straight to the Iliad. Screw distraction, I want spears piercing through jawbones to bit into the bloodied ground as gobbets of flesh go flying. That, or getting wasted off drinks that random men are buying, but my single ladies are all out of town at the moment, so various media will have to do (but, if there is bloodshed on Lost, I will not be complaining).

Much like Mr. Annoying Bastard's email, however, I need to say that, while it doesn't elicit the same pyromaniacal yearnings in me, I find George Eliot's Middlemarch to be stupendously offensively neutral. I read it again this weekend, hoping at 28 I would see what I did not, could not, at 14 - why the hell it is so famous - but I just don't get it. It's boring. The narrator is annoying. The story is one of absolutely nothing happening, punctuated by moments where disbelief has to be hoisted with a crane to be suspended. And one of the things I love most about Pride and Prejudice (one of the books I love most) is that it is a story where "the most that happens is that a lady changes her mind, and a gentleman his manners" (apologies to whoever wrote the intro to the edition I have, because I am sure I mangled that). But there the characters are funny, and believable, and seem like they could be modern people, they just happen to be living in another century and country. These damn Middlemarchers, on the other hand, feel like if they even could be real people, everything about them - minds & manners - is completely, wholly tied to their place and time. And Dorothea and Ladislaw make me want to strangle them with their own guts.

Of course, I went online to do a little research, see if I could figure out why the hell this book is so famous, and lo and behold, who loved it? Virginia Woolf. Another person who sets my teeth on edge. She's also another one I keep meaning to take another stab at - but I think I might try and ease into it: I just picked up The White Garden: A Novel of Virginia Woolf by Stephanie Barron, who I obv. love, and I'm hoping if I can get invested in the woman as a character in a novel, it might give me more understanding when it comes to the woman as author...or more interest anyways. Let's just pray that there is a nice, horrid man who did not fall all over himself when she reached out, because he was all beige and short and should have been totally into her, who was just freaking RUDE in a letter. Because then Virginia will be my sister in spirit as she is in name. Or I will come to my senses and realize I am being nuts for no reason. Either way.

Books for when guys seriously suck

Not the most original thought, I know, but having been reminded of it today (it took you 21 days to reply to my email because your blackberry was broken and you had a backlog - RIGHT), I need to go wallow in some totally, gratuitously brain-rotting fiction tonight after class. I think When Gods Die: A Sebastian St. Cyr Mystery should suit the bill nicely - murder mystery with a smart & attractive Regency viscount/detective, to distract me. That or Lost. Or both. Or both followed by a misguided sleepover with a more appreciative guy. Although R is insisting I "channel" my rage in a "positive" way, so maybe I should just attack the shower with my new scrubber brush...after Lost. And maybe something on the mercantile culture of New Netherland to lull me off to sleep...

The Great Stink

Just finished The Great Stink (2005) - amazing. Descriptions of life in the Crimea & London were amazing, so accurate that I was almost too grossed out to keep reading in some places (with a book that takes place at least half in the sewers, there's a lot of s*** and rats). Really nicely thought out characters, though, and I just can't say enough about how alive - festeringly, stinkingly alive the book is.

Reliable Wife

The book from the plane was, in fact, called A Reliable Wife (Robert Goolrick); finished it last night, not sure how I feel. It was almost good in places, but never actually made it there. Oh, well...

Upcoming Releases

So, a few new releases from preferred authors (authoresses, actually) are on the horizon...although some a bit far off. Can't wait for the latest in the Mistress of the Art of Death series, A Murderous Procession (Ariana Franklin, 4/1/10) - they're like a CSI, but in Ye Olde England, with a multi-culti female lead - ridiculous, but great.

Also ridiculous, albeit in a totally different way, Gail Carriger's Changeless, the second installment in a series called "The Parasol Protectorate." Following Soulless (on 3/30/10) it's about a soulless (yeah, okay, F for originality in titling) chick from Victorian England (hmm, theme to my books right now?) who runs around killing vampires who do unspeakable things like...ruin tea. Or her new dress. Yes! Number one was absolutely perfect for the first book I read after surgery, while I was still doped up, but I still think the next one should be fun...

Since even I, clearly, cannot escape the whole vampire thing - The Dead Travel Fast (Deanna Raybourn, coming soon, I think) looks similar, and...maybe a good plane read? We'll see - if the Harvard library system doesn't pick it up, I don't see myself buying it - at least not for full price!

Stephanie Barron is FINALLY coming out with a new Jane Austen mystery (Jane and the Madness of Lord Byron) - but not until 9/28/10 which blows. I just do adore those so much; more than any other contemp author, I think Barron (not sure if that is her real name?) knows Austen's works, world, and writing style better than anyone else - and then there's murders. SWEET. (ooh, off topic, but note to self, never again get cupcakes from Red Velvet in DC, even if you are trying to kick it to a bartender next door - neither one of you will want them. Even if you want eachother.  DO rock the jukebox though - that will go over much better).

Last but not least, there's a little bonus from Lauren Willig this October - she's releasing "The Mischief of the Mistletoe" which is hopefully not just a published version of the short story that was on her website (as much as I enjoyed it). Her last was not the awesomest, but still super fun, and let's face it, I kinda want to be Eloise Kelly.

More Ffor(d)e!

Just finished Shades of Grey, and would be sad it's over but, YAY, it's the first in a trilogy - let's just hope I don't need to wait until Dec. 2010 for the next one...

The Ibis Trilogy

The Ibis Trilogy, by Amitav Ghosh, opens with Sea of Poppies, which I thought was just wonderful - great characterizations (despite the fact there were several "main" characters, all were developed fully, AND maintained evenly throughout the book) and lovely, evocative descriptions of the settings (mainly India, at least for this book). I really couldn't recommend this book enough to anyone else, although I am a little concerned that it could be terribly inaccurate and I just don't know enough about that time period to know. It was interesting reading it shortly after Fish, Blood, and Bone (Leslie Forbes, opium trade, see NYTimes or The Independent for reviews), but this one left me anticipating the next installment. In the meantime, I've been having fun w/ the website, http://www.ibistrilogy.com/
My one complaint would probably be that Ghosh got waaaay more into trying to re-create period dialects and slang than needed - a little for flavor is awesome, but there were pages that made me flashback to trying to read Clockwork Orange sans that stupid little mini-dictionary.

Jasper FForde is F***ing Fantastic

Until I figure out how to make this private, if anyone should stumble upon it, please understand I intend this as a basic "log" of books I read, etc., so I can keep track...and stop getting books that I've already read, or not being able to recommend ones I loved, because I don't remember the info.
And on that note, Shades of Grey by Jasper Fforde (2009 or 2010) is a LOVE, although it's not the Thursday Next series - but it's got the same ridiculous sense of humor and terrible puns that had me cracking up last night even with crazy high blood sugar levels and a sore surgery site. Hooray for erduite cheesey fun!
I am also currently reading A Reliable Wife (or something like that - not a good sign if I can't remember the title and I started it yesterday) by some dude and The Great Stink by Clare Clark. I think I am going to really like the latter, but I when I got Shades from Widener it was already requested by someone else, so I had to abandon the Clark so I could finish the Fforde before it was due back.
Reliable Wife seemed pretty boring/predictable so far, but, to be fair, I picked it up on a whim at Barnes & Noble for a plane ride, and ended up starting it yesterday after a 3+ day debauch of Roman proportions in our nation's snow-bound capital, so being exhausted and hung-over and unshowered, the day AFTER I should have flown home, may have had something to do with my less than favorable impression. We'll see - the Globe called it a smart pot-boiler or something like that, which could be fun. May save it for a day when I am too hungover to concentrate on a real book, but not so hungover that over-wrought adjectives make me queasy.